Never Too Late

Never Too Late

Question: When is it too late to learn something new?

Answer: Never

Lovingly written by the hubs, Michael writes about learning something new as an adult. This is often a question people ask me when starting anything new! Yoga, Silks, Pole Dance, you name it. There's that fear of... "Can I actually do this?" Read along as hubs tells his story.

This may be strange to a (presumably) mostly American audience but I didn’t learn to drive until I was well into my thirties. I took a handful of lessons as a teenager but didn’t finish and life just kinda got in the way. I lived in cities and got by just fine with public transport, in South Korea I’d barely spend $30 a month on transport. In Japan, Levy and I cycled thousands of miles in the sleepy old Kyushu town we called home for four years. Of course, such healthy and environmentally-friendly forms of transport are just not practical in the United States.

Levy here. This is a picture of my riding my bike to our court marriage. Biking was so common in Japan. We didn't have a car, and honestly, it was an efficient and healthy way to travel, so why not ride my bike on my wedding day?

So it was with no small amount of trepidation I got behind the wheel of a car for the first time in nearly twenty years. It was in the parking lot of a disused mall, not a soul around for miles as I tried to handle an aging Mercedes with Levy trying to give me pointers. I felt incredibly vulnerable as I failed utterly to turn into a parking space - as a novice driver I was too nervous to move the wheel enough. I took a corner with all the grace and precision of a hippo wearing boxing gloves. I lamented 17-year-old me not following through with the lessons, I felt like I was the only person in America who couldn’t handle a vehicle. How was it that I couldn’t do such a rudimentary task?

It’s all pretty obvious in retrospect but that initial experience almost put me off persisting. Almost. In the end, I just forced myself to call a local driving school and arrange a lesson. It was a mild early September day but I remember how quickly my armpits were l

eaking as I clumsily arranged the mirrors and seat as the middle-aged instructor patiently talked me through it. For me, it was an incredibly awkward moment but for him it was Tuesday. I took a breath and pulled out of my driveway, I felt sweat run down my back as I very slowly went around the neighborhood. We trudged along to a quiet residential area and practiced some corners. “Hand over hand.” He calmly repeated over and over as I continued to make a meal of every corner.

It was scary and embarrassing until it wasn’t.

Little by little it got just a little bit easier and then he asked if I was up for driving along a busier street. I wasn’t but I did it anyway, it’s a street I drive down practically daily now but I could feel my heart thumping through my jaw as I rounded that corner. I imagined the searing gaze of every other driver as I trundled along. Nobody cared, nothing untoward happened and we went back to the house as I realized maybe this whole thing wasn’t such a big deal after all.

I kept up the lessons and the fear just evaporated completely. It wasn’t all smooth sailing, I still had the odd mistake and a few rough moments but I gradually ironed out the bad habits and flaws. Two months later,

I passed my test on the first attempt. All those doubts seem very silly now but that’s just a part of doing anything new.

The main thing I learned from the experience, apart from an essential life skill, was that the awkward phase of starting something new isn’t something to be afraid of. Feeling self-conscious is perfectly natural but it should never stop you from doing something you want to do. You’ll probably suck at that new thing at first, in fact, you almost certainly will, but where’s the satisfaction in instantly mastering something anyway?